December 22nd, 2004

Go Fuck Yerself

My life must be somewhat boring if the only time I ever post is when I take a yearly trip into drunken oblivion. Then again, maybe everyone else in the world writes in their journal too much. Friends, that was a cheap shot. *Kiss*

Yeah so nothin TOO crazy happened this time, no fire extinguishers or anything like that, but I DID get drunk and I DID win a lot of money again. So we get there on Friday night about 9:00pm, we're walking to get some pizza and I notice a new craps table about to open. Since I always play a new table, everyone went on without me while I waited. I played for about 10 minutes on the first shooter's roll, and ended up +200. So after pizza and more beer, and more cocktails and another beer, me and my buddy stagger over to the poker room at Harvey's. Started in a 3-6, moved to a 5-10, went back to a 3-6 .... and then for some reason, maybe, just maybe it was the liquor doing my thinking for me, I decide it might be a good idea to play a 20-40 game.

For all you poker neophytes, this means that during the first two rounds of betting your bets will be in increments of $20, and for the second two rounds your bets will be in increments of $40. Anyway, I was up about $250 at this point and since I'm trying hard to improve my game, I decided what the hell let's try it out. Plus the dealer was cute so I took a seat at the table and obviously the pickup-line gods were smiling down upon me that day because I said ... "So ... how late do you have to work tonight" .... yeah. So then she left (not because of me, it was her turn to rotate out. I swear.) and then the game started. I mess around with these big ballers for a couple hours, told one guy to take it easy on me, I'm a college student ... he looks at me while he's raising me again and says "oh yeah, what college? MIT?" ... Not sure if that was a compliment or an implication that I was cheating or ... anyways the money shot here is that one time I had pocket Queens, head to head with this Russian guy, the bet was capped. That means that before the flop, we each reraised each other to the maximum of 1 bet + 4 raises equaling $100 each. So there's $200 in the pot and the flop comes 6-Q-6. Full hizzy, thank you very much. So there was some more betting and stuff and I end up walking away with about a $400 pot and putting myself up about $650 on the first night.

Very nice. It's 5am, time to sleep (for two hours, thanks a lot Hince). So I bought the boys some breakfast and started playing craps again. So I'm basically sleeping while I'm standing and make another $100. This is getting ridiculous right? So long story long, once again, I'm done gambling at about 9pm. Up 500. So all my friends and I go to the bar at Caesar's called Cleo's. There's live music, some assholes playing top 40 and some crackhead doing a horrible but very amusing impression of Travolta in SNF without even intending to.

Oh yeah, before when I was walking from Harvey's back to Caesar's to start the drink-a-thon some random girl walks up, introduces herself, and asks me if I want to fuck. My reply? Yeah, but not you. Yeah I'm a dick, but I don't think she heard me and she looked about 16 anyway.

So anyway we're right around the corner from completely belligerent when we're ordering more drinks and the serving chick just up and says to me "what'd you say? you need a date?" I was like, "What? Do I look like I need a date? Do YOU need a date?" And she said yeah. So I asked her what time she got off, fully expecting to humor the girl and never see her again. She says "3". I was like damn that's late but you might be cute enough to get stood up so I gave her a nice fat tip (the drinks, perverts) and sent her on her way.

We drank for about two more hours and then I don't remember much until .... I'm standing face to face with a bouncer from the hotel over by the elevators, which is a short walk from "Cleo's". I mean, that's when I *woke up*. And the first thing I remember him saying are these words: "I don't appreciate being told to 'go fuck myself'. Now you've got two choices here, you can go up to your room right now, or you can go to jail." Hmmm... And since when can you not sleep in a deserted bar at 3 am?? I'm IN the fucking hotel. I'm not renting it fucking shoes. It's not taking your fucking turn, dude. I don't see what the big deal was. Anyway, so I get flagged on to the room and according to eyewitness accounts, I stripped down to my boxers and tried to cuddle with my friend Hince. This prompts him to get up, collect our friend Bob and drive home at 3:30. Whoops. Dude I just got yelled at by the Bald Bull, I just needed a little love man.

So that was my trip, good times good times. Anyone reading this ever been in jail in Tahoe? I bet it's cold.